If adventure's what you seek,
Voyage through the République,
Up the Seine and down the Rhône.
Don't forget to telephone

We know you simply cannot fail,
Without a mast or oars or sail,
To astonish the French nation
With your skillful navigation.

Leave behind all things banal
As you cruise through the canal.
Forget such things as traffic block;
But watch it, mate, another lock!

History passes quickly by.
Cathedrals, castles meet the eye.
Gothic, Romanesque, and Doric
Create a subtle mood euphoric.

Hooray, hooray, you've reached the sea.
Drop anchor at Port St. Louis.
Stow the gear and clear the decks
Of Barbie dolls and bicyclettes.

Replace the mast, and rig the sail;
Tighten the stays and, without fail,
Be sure to double-check the lot:
This barge is going to be a yacht.

Hurry now to catch the train.
Soon you have to be in Spain
Garlanding the Christmas tree
For 'Manda, Meg, and Timothy.

Buy pesetas; sell the franc.
(Be sure you do it at a bank.)
Slip the border guard a fee:
Amanda's passport's in the sea.

What all this means is simply this:
We send you each a Christmas kiss;
And when at last you reach Marbella,
We might come over to wassail ya.*


*Desoladoramente no.